A Matter of Perspective

I am making poverty level income during the course of my AmeriCorps VISTA year and one of the benefits of the program is that members qualify for food aid. On February 16, 2009 I had an appointment at 9 a.m. at the Department of Transitional Assistance on Massachusetts Avenue. The reason for the appointment is that I'd applied for food stamps and before I could be officially approved, I needed to complete an in-person interview.

I woke up that morning feeling like it was going to be like all the rest. I had no idea what was in store for me, but it did not turn out to be like "all the rest". I had this preconceived notion that I would walk into the DTA and be seen right away by my caseworker since my letter said that my appointment was at 9 a.m. I thought I was going to sign a few papers, be handed my Bay State Access card for food stamps and then walk out the door. Well, it turns out that it doesn't work quite like that.

As I walked in through the double doors at the DTA, I found myself surrounded by about 100 other people sitting in the waiting room. There was also a line of about 15 people waiting to speak with one of two receptionists. When I got to the front of the line, I filled out a piece of paper with my name, social security number and caseworker's name. Turns out this piece of paper was the one that would hold my place in line and the other piece of paper with my 9 a.m. appointment written on it meant nothing.

FIRST COME FIRST SERVE

I found an empty corner to stand in and waited my turn. Right away, I began surveying the room and taking it all in. There were no empty seats and the mood in the room was somber and there was a quiet buzz of chatter. The crowd was diverse as I was surrounded by a mix of white, black, Asian, Latino, young, old, homeless, employed and unemployed people. I couldn't help but think about each person's individual story and how they got here. (I guess that's the journalist in me).

According to an article printed February 26, 2009 in The Boston Globe, there are now more than 600,000 Massachusetts residents receiving food stamps. This number has surged 20 percent from over a year ago and there is no sign of this slowing down as there are as many as 20,000 new applications coming in every month.

As the minutes ticked by, I began to question if I even deserved to be there and tears started to well up in my eyes. Did these other people deserve food stamps more than me? Am I taking someone's spot that needs these benefits more than I do? I could tell that there were others in the room experiencing much tougher times than me. I could not just sit there and keep the feelings I was experiencing to myself. I needed to talk to my mom and decided to step outside to make the phone call.

I told my mom how I was feeling and she told me that I deserved to be there and receive food stamps just as much as anybody else standing and waiting in line. She reminded me that I am on an equal pay scale as a number of the people in that room this year. My mom said that I shouldn't feel sad or guilty about being there, but instead feel happy and proud that the work I am doing this year as an AmeriCorps VISTA is in fact making a difference and helping these people lead better lives. This is why I wanted to join AmeriCorps in the first place. I said at the beginning, "If I can touch just one life, it will be all worth it."

I walked back in the waiting room for my name to be called. There was a steady stream of people entering and leaving the DTA all morning. As I sat there, all I could think of was how fortunate I am to come from where I do and have the love and support of my family. Tears came to my eyes more than once...not because I was upset about being there, but moreso because I was overcome with emotions about what I was seeing.

I've always had a family who encouraged me to pursue my passions and dreams and because of them I have been able to do that thus far. The main difference between me and those surrounding me that day at the DTA is the fact that I come from an upper middle class upbringing and I have never known what it means to struggle. I still don't think I fully grasp that, but as a VISTA I am getting a glimpse of what it is like for these people on a daily basis.

After more than three hours, the caseworker finally called my name. I walked down a long corridor, sat at a desk and filled out a few more papers and answered a couple questions. After the caseworker copied the papers, I was directed back to the waiting room to wait in another line to receive my Massachusetts Bay Access card.

While I waited again, I just took in the scene. There was the homeless man who made a scene as he left the building. There was the single mom holding a crying baby. There was a man who smelled of alcohol at 12 p.m. and appeared to be an alcoholic. Then there was the mother trying to teach her 5-year-old son a lesson while they waited. The mother was telling her son that he should never be afraid to come and talk to her even when he's made a mistake.

I have read and heard countless stories about the tough times millions of people are experiencing across the United States, but there is nothing like seeing it and experiencing it firsthand. After nearly four hours of waiting at the DTA, I left with my card. I walked into the DTA expecting one thing and came out with an entirely different perspective. This was truly a humbling experience and made me even more appreciative and grateful for what I have and the people I am surrounded by.

I believe now more than ever that I've made the right decision for me in deciding to join AmeriCorps this year and give back to some of those who need it the most.